Walker Hayes - You Broke Up With Me Reviews
WARNING: Linguistic communication
Imagine your determinative, boyish self, all bright eyed and full of wonder, with rosy cheeks and peach fuzz, waking upwards to the audio of your parents having wild, loud, sweaty, uninhibited one-time people unprotected sex right beside you, and all the guttural utterances, moans, and other indiscernible and acrid noises thereof scarring your precious little ears in a mail traumatic manner that will stick with you for eternity, and pursue you in every waking moment for the rest of your life.
This is how the new song from Sam Hunt knockoff and near nobody Walker Hayes called "You Broke Up with Me" starts off. And somehow, inexplicably, information technology discovers a path forward that despite the insurmountable odds, gets even worse from in that location.
We've reached a new, dubious low in country music ladies and gentlemen. We're far beyond Taylor Swift releasing pop songs and calling them state. We're well removed from Jerrod Niemann making idiotic EDM racket with "Beverage To That All Dark," basically ending his career and then that EDM pop can encroach into country similar never before. Nosotros're even a step further than Sam Hunt and his shittastic offerings that have pushed the boundaries of "country" to not just dangerous levels in testing its elasticity before it bursts similar a bubble and implodes, merely allows country music to get indiscernible from all other popular music in a grand entrance to country music's membership to the monogenre.
What we have with "You Broke Upwards with Me" is a song that doesn't just draw and quarter whatever and all ideas of what quality or land music content is supposed to be, it expressly looks to achieve the exact scientifically certified diametrically opposed opposite sounds and themes to what bodily country music is.
This song is so bad, and Walker Hayes so devoid of talent, he can't even fucking whistle right. Information technology sounds like when a half-dozen-year-old tries to whistle for the first fourth dimension, and information technology'south more than jiff than tone. Bobby McFerrin, shield your ears. And the pseudo-rapped words of the song is like some sort of transmogrified Kardashian speak the likes that 14-twelvemonth-old adolescent boys whose balls simply dropped would use on Instagram.
"Ain't nobody making yous watch me get my forget you on."
What kind of fuck nutted douche babble is this?
Unremarkably these such songs are not fifty-fifty strung together by anything that would resemble a "story," but "You Broke Up with Me" is the exception. Yet the story at the middle of the song—if you tin can translate it from the idiotic, mealy-mouthed douche speak information technology's white boy urban slurred in—it'south about some self-centered asshole trying to make his ex jealous and justifying it because "Hey, you lot broke up with me."
You would call back such shallow, narcissistic bullshit would be coming from some wet-behind-the-ears early on 20-something immersed in the club life and all the self-absorbed trappings thereof, correct? Especially seeing how this vocal is being offered in hopes of launching a brand new superstar never heard before in country music. But the entire opposite is the case. Similar to setting a new low for the amount of non country a "state" song can accomplish, Walker Hays also has earned the abominable stardom of being the most inauthentic author of such fabric in country music history.
Walker Hayes isn't in tune with the night life as a spry, 23-twelvemonth erstwhile with Axe body spray glistening his pecks and a pocket full of prophylactics hoping to be expended after a nighttime at the club. He'southward a married, 37-year-old with 6 kids. And no, that's not hyperbole. Walker Hayes moved to Nashville 12 years ago with his wife, and has been declining in the country music business ever since. In one case signed to Capitol Records Nashville, he's released four singles, all of which couldn't get by the Top 40 barrier. So how did this no proper name guy who will exist due for a prostate check in a few years get slotted equally country music'south side by side superstar?
It might actually be the intangibles and industry tentacles extending from Walker Hayes and "You Broke Up with Me" that brand the whole thing so sinister. This is non but the lead unmarried from a Sam Hunt knockoff you've never heard of before. Walker Hayes is the flagship artist for a new major characterization imprint called Monument Records—the one-time Fred Foster label that at 1 point housed Willie Nelson and Kris Kristofferson—that has recently been revitalized by Sony, with none other than songwriter and Sam Hunt producer Shane McAnally serving every bit co-president.
Walker Hays has been decided upon as Monument'southward golden goose, and "You Broke Upwardly with Me" as the vehicle to go him to superstardom. Nosotros're already seeing incredible promotional greenbacks being thrown backside this song. They're taking out full page ads in manufacture periodicals, wining and dining the industry, erecting billboards around Nashville, any it takes to become Walker Hayes and "Y'all Broke Up with Me" to #1, which will happen. It's a similar scenario to when the new label Big Loud Mountain launched Chris Lane (another Sam Chase doppelganger) via his single "Ready." They would gladly spend $2 million to make $1 million off of one song but to launch a celebrity "franchise" from which to build their label and brand effectually.
It'southward an investment at the expense of country music and the listening public. And since land radio volition permit anyone to waltz in and nab a #1 for a calendar week (unless they're a woman of class), information technology makes crowning any Joe off the street with average skills equally a mega superstar entirely possible. And Walker Hayes, his fucking laptop (which is how this song was made as can be seen in the video below), and his half dozen kids volition be the next beneficiary, while people who actually make fucking music with fucking instruments go out-of-business all up and down Music Row. Idiotic digital automation has officially plant its way to state music, which used to exist the concluding bastion of the human touch in audio recording—all the same another dishonorable distinction that deserves to exist assigned to his most heinous of "songs."
Just I don't even arraign Walker Hayes for this. He'south just trying to put food on the table for his family, and is doing and then by chasing the tendency. He'south an unwitting pawn, a faceless vessel from which behind-the-scenes cord pullers can brand millions, principally Shane McAnally, which at present more than e'er, is being unmasked as the preeminent asshole screwing over country music solely for financial do good, while trying to remake country music in his sole paradigm because he's too lazy to motion to one of the coasts where his "music" skills would be plyed more than accordingly.
Shane McAnally could write 1,000 "Drinkin' Problem" songs by Midland or songs by Wheeler Walker Jr., and it would never make up for the utter destruction he's caused for entire swaths of the country music industry. I'd even go as far as to say—peculiarly now with the revelation of Monument, Walker Hayes, and "You lot Broke Up with Me"—that Shane McAnally, for political and cultural reasons, is purposely trying to remake what he sees as idiotic redneck culture into an institutionally urbanized style equally to eradicate an unabridged way of life and so that he can feel more comfortable in his ain environs. It is a closed-minded, subversive calendar that must be stopped for the preservation of the culture that means something deep and inherent to the millions of rural-domicile individuals in the United states of america and across.
"You Bankrupt Up with Me" is not just another shitty song. It is an extremely important moment in country music, where either a line in the sand is fatigued, preserving the natural order and boundaries of what country music is, preserving the jobs of hundreds of globe-grade musicians who rely on the industry to pay their bills and raise their families. Or do we allow Shane McAnally, and some washed-up fuckstick with a laptop to take over the entire manufacture and remake information technology in a way that whitewashes state music'southward vibrant and vital culture that gives identity to millions of people?
Unfortunately, nosotros all know the answer.
Ii Guns Extremely Downward (-0.5/x)
Source: https://www.savingcountrymusic.com/no-seriously-walker-hayes-you-broke-up-with-me-is-the-worst-country-song-ever/
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